“A Love Found and Lost”: The Story of Barack Obama’s Romance with Genevieve Cook

In 1983, Barack Obama met Genevieve Cook at a Christmas party in New York’s East Village, marking the beginning of a significant relationship in his young life. As recounted in David Maraniss’ biography Barack Obama: The Story, the romance between the future president and Cook is one of the most talked-about chapters of his early years.

Vanity Fair revealed some of the intimate details, particularly the diary entries of Cook, which provide insight into their brief but meaningful time together. Genevieve Cook, three years Obama’s senior, was 25 when they first crossed paths. Described as the “deepest romantic relationship of his young life,” Cook was a free spirit who smoked Lucky Strikes and unfiltered Camels and enjoyed sipping Baileys Irish Cream and Punt e Mes, an Italian vermouth.

Their romance lasted for 18 months before they parted ways in June 1985, but the memories and emotions from that period left a lasting impression on both. Maraniss highlighted the complexity of their relationship, quoting from Cook’s diary and Obama’s reflections in his memoir. “When she told him that she loved him, his response was not ‘I love you, too,’ but ‘thank you,'” Maraniss wrote, hinting at the emotional distance that marked their time together.

The Australian reported, that Obama later admitted in his memoir, “I pushed her away. We started to fight. We started thinking about the future, and it pressed in on our warm little world.” Cook’s perspective, however, painted a slightly different picture. “I pushed him away, found him not to be ‘enough,’” she reflected. “I chafed at his withheld-ness, his lack of spontaneity… I imagined certain elements of it might be assuaged by living together.”

The breakup, as Cook noted in her journal, was as calculated as their relationship had been. “Barack leaving my life—at least as far as being lovers goes… It seems to be ending along coolly considered lines.” She lamented the emotional distance that had plagued their relationship, writing, “From the beginning, what I have been most concerned with has been my sense of Barack’s withholding the kind of emotional involvement I was seeking.”

Cook’s father, Michael J. Cook, was a prominent Australian diplomat, and her international upbringing mirrored Obama’s own. Interestingly, both had lived in Indonesia around the same time, a coincidence that seemed to underscore their connection. At the time she met Obama, Cook was an assistant elementary school teacher in New York, having previously worked for a publishing company in Manhattan.

Though their romance was brief, it left an indelible mark on Obama’s formative years, offering a glimpse into the personal struggles and relationships that shaped the man who would one day become president.