Monica Lewinsky Reflects on Clinton Affair: ‘More Love, With a Little Bit of Obsession’
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The affair between Monica Lewinsky and then-President Bill Clinton was one of the most sensational and scandalous events in American politics, leaving both the political world and tabloids reeling. Lewinsky, who was an intern at the White House during Clinton’s presidency, found herself at the center of an unprecedented scandal that led to public apologies from both parties, including heartfelt apologies to Hillary Clinton and their daughter, Chelsea.
However, one of the most shocking revelations from Lewinsky was her description of Clinton as her “sexual soul mate.” In a candid interview with Barbara Walters in 1999, Lewinsky reflected on the affair, apologizing to the Clintons and the American public. She confessed, “I wouldn’t dream of asking Chelsea and Mrs. Clinton to forgive me, as reported by CBC News.
But I would ask them to know that I am very sorry for what happened and for what they’ve been through.” Her emotional apology was broadcast to millions, with Lewinsky emphasizing the personal nature of their relationship. “It was like a man and a woman, not a president and an intern,” she explained.
At the time, Lewinsky had written a letter to Clinton, which she never sent, expressing feelings of being “disposable, used, and insignificant.” This unsent note, reported by CBS News, reflected the deep emotional turmoil she experienced during their affair. In court, she later described the relationship as “more love, with a little bit of obsession, but definitely love.”
Clinton, who was almost twice Lewinsky’s age at the time, admitted to their relationship in testimony, describing Lewinsky as “basically a good girl” who continued to cling to him despite his attempts to end the affair. Investigators uncovered numerous unsent emails and notes on Lewinsky’s computer, detailing her feelings and documenting her interactions with Clinton. She would reportedly circle dates on her calendar to mark moments she spent with him or when they spoke.
Lewinsky’s obsession with the relationship was evident in her detailed records. She even created a flowchart documenting their encounters, using shorthand like “pizza night” and “nonverbal connection” to note significant events. As the affair came to an end, Lewinsky’s emotional distress deepened, with her draft notes showing the toll it had taken on her.
One note read, “I believe the time has finally come for me to throw in the towel,” while another stated, “I give up. You let me down, but I shouldn’t have trusted you in the first place.” Lewinsky also claimed that White House aides were aware of Clinton’s vulnerabilities and attempted to keep her away from him. Despite this, she maintained her loyalty to the former president, stating that she would “always protect him” no matter the circumstances.
The affair between Lewinsky and Clinton remains a lasting chapter in American political history. Even decades later, with presidential elections looming, the scandal continues to echo, reminding the public of one of the most controversial moments in modern U.S. politics.
